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Monday, September 29, 2014

Interpersonal skills-Abhishek Bholah

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
‘’Our ability to manage ourselves and handle relationships [emotional intelligence] matters twice as much as IQ’’-Daniel Goleman.
WHAT ARE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS?
Interpersonal skills, also known as people skills, are related to the way you communicate and interact with people. When employers are hiring, interpersonal skills are one of the criteria used to evaluate candidates.

Skills employers say they seek:
1. Critical thinking skills
2. Problem-solving skills
3. Oral, writing and interpersonal communication skills 
4. Ability to locate, organize and evaluate information from multiple sources
5. Appreciation of diversity and individual differences
6. Potential for continued learning and professional development
7. Innovation and creativity
8. Ability to apply knowledge and skills in real-world settings

1.
LISTENING- Listening is the most fundamental component of interpersonal communication skills.  Listening is not something that just happens (that is hearing), listening is an active process in which a conscious decision is made to listen to and understand the messages of the speaker.  Listeners should remain neutral and non-judgmental, this means trying not to take sides or form opinions, especially early in the conversation.  Active listening is also about patience - pauses and short periods of silence should be accepted.  Listeners should not be tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there are a few seconds of silence.  Active listening involves giving the other person time to explore their thoughts and feelings, they should, therefore, be given adequate time for that.
2.
Questioning- Questioning is something that often builds upon listening, but it is not merely a device for obtaining information. The listener can demonstrate that they have been paying attention by asking relevant questions and/or making statements that build or help to clarify what the speaker has said.  By asking relevant questions the listener also helps to reinforce that they have an interest in what the speaker has been saying.




TIPS TO DEVELOP GOOD INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
1.        SMILE
2.       BE APPRECIATIVE
3.       PAY ATTENTION TO OTHERS
4.       PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING
5.       BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER
6.       RESOLVE CONFLICTS AMICABLY
7.       COMMUNICATE CLEARLY
8.       HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR
9.       SEE IT FROM THEIR SIDE -EMPATHY
10.   DON’T COMPLAIN

INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT:
What is Conflict?
 • Opposition leads to Conflict or when a solution cannot be found for a disagreement.
• Is a disagreement where the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, well- being, interests or concerns?
 • Threat perceived can be physical, emotional, power, status, intellectual, etc.
Interpersonal Conflict is the
• Needs- ignoring our or others‟ needs energy (positive
• Values-holding incompatible, unclear values and/ or
• Unresolved Disagreements negative) that• Feelings and Emotions- Ignoring own or builds up when others feelings and emotions individuals or
• Underlying Stress and Tension- demands groups of exceeds our capacity to deal/ deliver people pursue
• Ego problem- Not admitting own incompatible mistakes, Personality Clashes goals to meet
• Power- trying to make others change their needs and actions or to gain an unfair advantage interests.

Conflict Resolution
Is a range of processes aimed at alleviating or eliminating sources of conflict
1. "Know Thyself" and Take Care of Self
2. Clarify Personal Needs Threatened by the Dispute
3. Identify a Safe Place for Negotiation
4. Take a Listening Stance into the Interaction
5. Assert Your Needs Clearly and Specifically
6. Approach Problem-Solving with Flexibility
7. Build an Agreement that Works
Ground Rules Statements reflecting peoples best intentions regarding how they wish to treat one another in civil dialogue.
1) One person speaks at a time.
2) Commitment to listen, understand first
3) It is confidential, unless otherwise stated
4) Talk directly with the person and not involve others in "gossip" or "alliance building“
 5) Do the our hardest/ best possible
 6) Offer safe environment - harassment free
7) Attack the issues, not the people

Tips for conflict resolution
1. Put yourself in the other person shoes.
 2. Don’t be judgmental. Do not embarrass the other person.
3. Never accuse anyone
 4. Watch your body language as posture, tone of voice, and facial expressions
 5. Do not take it personally in conflicts people night say things they don’t mean
6. Let the other person know that you want to find a win-win resolution
 7. Apologize for anything you may have said or done to offend them.
Resolving ConflictsDialogue:
1. Be Open& Suspend Judgment
2. Keep Dialogue & Decision making separate
3. Speak for yourself and not as a representative & Treat all participants as peers
4. Listen for understanding with empathy, acknowledge that you heard, and that you care
5. Look for common ground& Identify on what you agree
6. Search for and disclose hidden assumptions especially in yourself

Emotional Intelligence
1. Think intelligently about our emotions to think more intelligently, and regulate others‟ emotions by influencing and engaging and motivating groups
2. People resonate to people who connect to them emotionally. Learned ability
3. Can reduce stress by decreasing conflict, improving relationships, understanding, increasing stability, continuity and harmony. Start within by self-awareness and continues outwardly in how they impact.
 Tips To Improve Interpersonal Skills
1. Set the ground for respectful communication
2. Work on your attitude.
3. Have reasonable expectations.
4. Choose the right time and place
5. Watch your body Language, have an open demeanor
6. Actively listen and respond periodically.
7. Avoid “fire starters” such as: hot words, over- dramatization, blaming, guilt induction, and past events
8. Choose to behave assertively. Avoid being aggressive
9. Stay focused on the issue
10. Reflect upon the interaction and get ready to keep developing the relationship.

11. Be ready to change and keep exploring continuously.

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